- Michael Carini (via impetrate)
if you put a frog in boiling water, it will jump out.
if you put a frog in warm water and gradually turn up the heat until the water is boiling, the frog will remain there until it dies.
and that is an abusive relationship.
when you need to cough in an exam but you’ve already coughed like twice so you just sit there suffocating
i feel like if a girl touches your dick you should be nice to her and make her laugh and do cool things for her besides rub her clit. like hey lets go to the aquarium cuz thanks for puttin my balls in your mouth
A wee little frog and turtle at my local pet shop, so adorable <3
I can hear my brother having sex with his girlfriend next door and there is just a lot of bed creaking and I just heard her say ‘Are you even trying?’ and I laughed so hard my brother came into the room to tell me to fuck off
omg guess what i found out today
that falling feeling when you wake up suddenly in bed
is because when you were dropping off you heart rate slowed down too fast so your brain thought you were dying so it tried waking you up immediatly
thank u brain~
No problem, boss.
I should not be on tumblr when I’m high because this was too funny
You may drive me crazy but wow do I ever adore you